The Not So Normal Life
by hottie from hell
Summary: Hige is getting raped by this gym teacher of his and Tsume suspects something but Hige never admits to it.


**Hey everyone. I hope you like my story I'm making so far. If you don't like the idea don't even begin to read it or you'll be sorry. Well just review anything you want! Thanx a ton!**

…

Some people don't really know what cutting them selves all is about. It may seem stupid that a person would actually do that to themselves but, when you live in their life you may understand why. It's sort of to even out the physical and emotional pain together so you don't feel any pain more then the other. Or another reason is to feel more physical then emotional or whatever the reason the person chooses it for. But sometimes they don't choose to at all. Sometimes their mind and body just work together and before they know it they form a habit and can't stop no matter what the cause is.  


**I've known a few people in my life who have done this very thing. In this story your about to read, I'm sort of in Tsume's place, Toboe would be that person's kid brother and Kiba's place would be that person's best friend. Then Hige, well he's the main idea of this story and he would focus on one of the people I know who actually do this kind of thing. What happens to Hige has practically happened to that person in his or her life. Except for the fact about the Private school. I asked that person why they even do it and they told me a few reasons which are listed in the paragraph above this. Almost most of the things in here actually happened between us all. But some of the conversations were on phone but then a lot were at that person's house. We would all hang at their place after school and we would find out little things that pin pointed it all together. Just keep in mind that a lot of this happened so keep in mind that as you read this those things like this are happening all around you and maybe to one of your friends or family members. So please watch out for them and lend a hand when they need it. The only reason I'm writing this is to reach out in a half disguised way. So thank you for spending time to read this and you would not believe how much this means to me if you actually take about twenty minutes reading each chapter. Just twenty minutes. It really would make a difference to me because all I want to do is to get people to reach out.  
**

**Another thing is, if you do have someone you know who is doing this, just don't go out and tell someone. It may seem like the best thing to do even if you've heard it from everyone. If you do this then you'll have that person looking on you differently for the rest of your lives. They'll think that they can't trust you. First you should let them know that you're actually there for them and you're actually trying to help them. Talk to the person about it and spend time with them and really try to get them back on their feet. But if this doesn't work and it just gets worse or remains the same, then you may have to turn to someone. And please don't go out and tell their parent or guardian, tell a counselor or something so that they can tell the parents in a manner of a way where it won't burst them out of their head. I'm not saying that offensive or anything, but the chances are that the councilor had dealt with this before so they'll know how to phrase it. You don't have to take what I say for granted but if you think what I'm saying is right, then please take my advice. But don't do something you will regret and will make them will regret meeting you. Just take things slowly and try to help them out in anyway you can. It may seem like I'm B-S-ing you but I'm just speaking from experience.  
I've known a lot of people who do this thing and I actually do try and help them and this little speech is from experience I've had in the past. It's just not about hurting themselves like that. It's actually a lot worse. Please help them realize that.  
**

**Hige had just about had it this day. Nothing seemed to be going right at all and everything was going wrong. Now this phone call had just added it all together into one huge blow. He saw it coming from the day he left for this stupid Private school where he met Tsume, Kiba and Toboe his best friends ever. He knew that the Private school wouldn't change anything. The stress just wouldn't leave him even if he looked into its eyes and tried to scare it away. No matter what he tried to do it just seemed to be right there standing next to him looking him in the eyes saying 'Just kiss your happiness behind because you won't run long from me.' It was almost like all the fun inside of him was slowly being sucked away and no matter what he did or tried, he couldn't stop it from hurting the insides of his own mind and soul. It seemed like every time he even laughed, smiled or thought of something happy, something would always result in the end of hurting him and forever he would suffer the consequences. He hadn't laughed for a while because each day something more and more worse would build up.**

**In the morning he hadn't woken up at the right time but 45 minutes late which would give him no time to eat or finish typing up his essay. Toboe had actually got on his nerves too when he woke Hige up by stuffing ice down his shirt then taking all his blankets and putting them out in the front room forcing him to actually get up and get them. Tsume was also giving him a hard time about 'staying up too late watching TV' then Kiba kept talking about this chick he had met the previous day and how they were soon going to hang out and all that crap. After he had actually left his dorm he came across his x-girlfriend making out with the same guy who had been working with Hige on their science project the previous day. It was really weird though because every moment the guy was talking about Hige's X and how he hated her guts enough to kill her. Then the next thing you know he was making out with her. The thing that hurt the most out of everything was that he still liked the girl a little bit but she made sure to tell him that they would never be together again. He just had to face the facts and deal with the loss even though deep inside it still burned. It just hurt knowing that she was with someone else and she didn't love him anymore. Then he had gone to his math class and learned that one of his peers had been taking drugs and overdosed himself and in the end died from it. The major thing about that was that he was always the person that Tsume got Hige to set up over and over again with something different each time. After the tear filled math class, he had gone to Science and just found out he had been failing that class and mid-terms were in a day or two leaving him no time to make up any of the work. It just was too much for him even though it didn't seem like too much to even look at.  
**

**His mother and father had both agreed that sending him to a Private school just might help solve his problems but it wouldn't work out no matter what they did. Back at his real home his parents were constantly fighting to the point of insanity. No matter what the deal was, the problem or even the tiniest thing, they were constantly back to fighting and shouting threats from one side of the house to the other. Hige couldn't stand to watch them day after day and then watch as they expected him to be happy on the inside. He just couldn't deal with the pain. Finally one day at school a kid in the hallway pissed him off to the point where they had started a huge fight viciously tearing at one another. He had left the kid with a broken nose, bloody mouth and tons of bruises all over his face. The school councilor got Hige to spit out what the hell was pissing him off so much and soon the words spread to his parents. His parents thought that they could send him away so he wouldn't have to hear them fight constantly and then they turned their eyes to South Central Private School. Then he was forced to this place where day after day he suffered. At first he thought it may just help him but once he got there he soon learned that things would always be the same. Even if his mom and dad weren't fighting in his face, he could always hear their words echo out of nowhere in his mind. **

**  
Then he got a call from his mother telling him about his very own bastard father. All along his father had been having an affair with 7 other woman. Hige just couldn't believe that his own father would stoop that low to the ground. Not only did he hurt Hige's mother but he had scarred Hige for life. He couldn't believe that the father he had known for his whole life would actually do something like that to them. Sometimes he had almost thought that he was gone too much but then his mind kept telling him he was being too suspicious. He never really listened to his very inner thoughts which were trying to reach him about his father. His true mind was just trying to block it away not wanting to believe what could be really happening. Then he sort of forgot about the mess when he came to the private school but now the clues were starting to fit together. He never knew that something like that could hurt so much. On the inside he just wanted to shut down and die and on the outside he just wanted to scream his lungs out. If only his own father were standing in front of him he would really show him what fists were used for. Yeah that meant hurting his own father but look what he had done to his own family. Wouldn't having an affair hurt much more then anything?  
**

**Hige stormed into his dorm before any other of his roommates had got there. He didn't want anyone to find out what he would be doing. He knew that if someone would see and tell he would surely be kicked off school grounds for sure. That and the humiliation over himself would really score deep. The only thing to really worry about was to be careful. He found every corner of the big room quite and sound. Making sure Toboe didn't fake sick again he checked every part of the dorm and made double checks just to be super positive he wasn't being spied on. In another 10 minutes or so the dorm would be beaming with life and noise. He knew that this would be his only chance to achieve what he had come in here for. He didn't want to do this in a way but at the same time the pain inside of him was way too much to handle. He had to do something about it.  
**

**First he walked down the hallway to his room and rushed inside. He stopped at his dresser and found his normal everyday clothes and rushingly changed into them. Grabbing his wrist band he brought it with his to his bed side dresser and pulled out a small pocket knife Tsume had gave him one day when Hige brought Tsume's low D grade up to a high A. He hadn't really ever found the thing useful regarding the fact that he wasn't even allowed to have it on the school campus but still he kept it hoping one day he would need it and today was the perfect day. The blade itself was quite new and shiny and very sharp. When Hige first got it he had run his finger across it to test it out and found it covered in blood. Tsume laughed mentioning he forgot to tell Hige about that.  
**

**Opening up the knife he glanced at it making sure that this was what he wanted to do. Then slowly turning around he headed towards the bathroom where he would precede his plans. Opening the door he headed in and made sure he locked it behind him. Walking over to the sink he filled it up with burning hot water and made sure to put his wrist band where nothing would be spilled on it. Then he rinsed of the blade and took a shaking heavy breath. Resting the blade on his lower right wrist he pressed down slightly. Nothing seemed to be coming out. Pressing down harder, the only thing he could feel was the pain. Perfect.**

**From behind him he could hear the mocking laughs of the stress and pain as they watched him closely. Grunting he pressed down even harder until he saw the fresh blood slowly coming out. He squeezed his eyes shut for an instant then opened them up again. It just wasn't enough. Sliding the blade into a back and forth motion he felt the skin ripping away from himself and the blood rushing over it. Gasping, he grabbed the blade away and set it aside on the sink. Half his arm was almost completely covered in the dark blood now starting to drip on the floor. Rushing his hand over the sink he dunked it into the hot water just to feel it burn from within him. Tears started filling his eyes as the water rushed around his arm wiping some of the blood off. He wasn't just crying from the pain or his father, but the fact that the limits pushed him to do this. He had known some people back at his old school that would skip class to do this in the bathrooms. He had never thought that he would ever do something like this and always thought of it as stupid and a waist of time, but now that he did it, it seemed like the best thing ever. **

**Removing his arm from the water he reached his free hand to a dark blue towel and pressed against the wound. This was enough pain for now. Removing the towel for an instant he glanced at how big the wound was. It stretched across his whole wrist with blood still seeping out from within it. He couldn't believe that he was actually doing this, something he would have never thought of doing, but he couldn't help it. Looking at the once clear water, he found it replaced with nothing but redness. He hadn't meant to cut that much but it was too late for accidents. Just a tiny cut would be good enough but now his wrist was full of a deep red slice. **

**From outside the bathroom he could hear Tsume and Kiba coming in with a laughing Toboe behind them. Well at least they were having a good day. Eavesdropping slightly, he listened them question where he was. **

"Did he even come back from sixth yet?" Kiba had asked shutting the main door.

"His stuff is on the couch so he must have been here." Toboe said setting his stuff next to Hige's. "That's not like Hige to not meet us by the spot. He has to be here."

While they had been talking Tsume had checked Hige's room to find his used uniform lying scattered on the floor. "Don't worry about it. He probley got dumped again and won't want to talk to us or something." In about the past three months or so, Hige had been dumped a total of 4 times and each time came to the dorm and spent the rest or the evening in his room not even coming out for dinner. Nobody really knew what he didn't in there all alone, and lots didn't WANT to know, but most figured that he was asleep. 

**Kiba smiled and walked to the bathroom where Hige had been just reaching for his wrist band which was set next to the pocket knife. Hige didn't expect Kiba to be right out the door and put his finger tips on his band ready to grab it. "Hige you in there?" The words scarred him to the point where his hand skipped and hit the knife sending it flying across the room.**

All Kiba heard was something flying across the room and the random word "Shit!"  
"You all right?" Kiba asked through the door. It wasn't normal of Hige to just ditch them then find him in the bathroom throwing out cuss words. Yeah he cussed now and then but what could have dropped that he had to cuss. Usually if something fell all he'd say was 'oops,'

"Uh... Yeah," Hige said still a little startled, "I'm fine." Hige had got the bleeding to stop then pulled the band over his hand and lightly and carefully slipped ii onto his wrist. He didn't want to fresh wound to bleed again. Then he rinsed the knife off and shoved it hastily into his pocket and unplugging the sink for the blood to wash away with it. Making sure no blood was miss placed, he then headed to the door and unlocked it and headed out. He had expected to see Kiba still standing there but found the hallway empty. 

**Walking to the main area, he sat down on the couch making himself comfy. A few minutes later everyone came walking into the main area with their street clothes on. Obviously they had all left to change. Nobody wanted to stay in the scratchy uniforms. All the girls had to wear these skirts and a green shirt and all the guys wore green pants and a green shirt with it. Basically their uniforms were all green and gross on the inside.**

"So who dumped you this week?" Tsume asked as he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

"I didn't get dumped. Besides I'm not even going out with anyone." 

"Well then did the girl of your dreams find another sweet person to kiss?" Tsume said smiling as he flickered the channels until he stopped on a show where they were poking a person's brain in surgery. That immediately grabbed Kiba's and Toboe's attention. 

**Without even thinking Hige picked up his fist and punched Tsume's arm. He didn't realize until after the fact that it was his freshly cut wrist. He just couldn't have Tsume push him around like that. With his other hand he instinctively reached over and barricaded his wrist squeezing it tightly. Tsume laughed as he watched Hige in pain. Kiba and Toboe hadn't noticed the two fighting and kept their eyes glued on the TV. Tsume stopped laughing once he realized that his wrist was soon covered in blood. Hige's eyes were shut too much to notice the blood and he was too shocked to feel it. Tsume knew why Hige had been in the bathroom now and knew exactly why his wrist turned bloody. **

**Tsume grabbed Hige's unhurt wrist and pulled him into the bathroom. Hige was just sort of in a daze as he was being pulled into the bathroom then he realized were he was. He saw Tsume's free hand reach for his cut wrist to pull the band off and then he fought back. "Tsume don't!" Hige said a little too late. Tsume took the now bloody band off and pushed the bloody wrist under some water. Hige opened his eyes wide then glared down at his wrist.**

"Where's the knife?" Tsume asked softly.

Hige looked at him not really realizing what he was saying but then it hit him. "I'm not cutting myself!"

"Bullshit Hige. If you don't give me the freaking knife I will go into your room and search for it." 

**Hige knew that Tsume wasn't messing around with him and swallowed deeply. If he gave him the knife he wouldn't have anything to use for the next time something like that happened. But if he didn't Tsume would find it even if it was in his pocket. Growling, Hige just snapped into it and reached into his pocket grasping the knife. "Before I give it up, you promise you won't tell anyone? And I'm not suicidal or anything but---" Hige was cut off before he could even finish. **

"Just- give- me- the- knife." He said sternly and slowly.

Hige pulled the knife out of his pockets and placed it into Tsume's hand. "Please don't tell anyone." 

"**I won't." Tsume looked at the knife and shoved it into his pockets. Then he reached over and turned off the water to the sink and made sure Hige left his wrist there. He then grabbed a large band-aid before peeling it and shoved it onto Hige's wrist. "Now before I leave I just want you to know something. Look at what you're doing to yourself and to your future. Don't screw it up." Yeah this was just cutting himself and all, but still it just wasn't cutting himself in a way. What he was doing was getting the wrong type of help for himself without even thinking. Cutting himself would soon grow addicting like picking scabs or something. Then he would realize that cutting himself wasn't enough and he would soon turn to drugs and worse. **

"**How can it get any worse?!" Hige shouted out and his heart starting to ache with pain. "I can't screw it up any more then what I have. This is my entire fault, I know it is. If it wasn't for me leaving my mom wouldn't be at where she is. And I can't just stop doing…this! It's a habit that comes back every fucking time something like this happens. I can't stop it." He then fell against the wall and slid to the floor not blinking or looking at anything but the stress looking back at him smiling gravely.**

Tsume just growled and walked out of the bathroom. This wasn't a job fit for him. He rushed out of the room and headed towards his room. Walking inside, he took the pocket knife and put it under his mattress hoping that nobody would find it there. He felt as though it was somewhat his fault for giving Hige the knife but at the same time he wouldn't have ever expected Hige to use it for that. He wasn't sure at the time what he would even use it for but surely cutting himself wasn't on the list. He hadn't realized it until then but he had sort of left Hige alone in his own world inside the bathroom. 

"**Oh well, the kid may need to be alone for a minute," Tsume muttered to himself then headed back down to the main area and continued watching TV. It wasn't like Hige would have anything to cut himself with. Tsume had the knife and Hige was left alone to sulk for a while. Sooner or later Kiba would find out and as his best friend he would be there for him. It would go about like that and soon Toboe would find out and try to get to Hige. It would all work evenly in the end. But some things would happen that he wouldn't even think of and it would send everything going all over the place in a matter of seconds.**

What do you think so far? R&R! 


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